Close to Love
by AnnaChase
Summary: Set in season 5, it's Angel's 250th birthday. A little bit fluffy, AngelNina. Angel's thoughts and doubts about loving her, and about 'if' he even loves her at all. R&R please.


**Close to Love**

The moment Angel heard his alarm clock start buzzing he knew that this was one of the days he would rather stay in bed.

For his own good.

But unfortunately that wasn't going to happen, they would never let him.

'Today', Angel thought with a sigh, while sitting up in bed and trying to wake up, 'I'm turning 250 years old.'.

He was never one to party, but he wouldn't be able to get out of this, that wouldn't be fair either. His friends, Lorne in particular, had organised a very big party at Wolfram & Hart that night, everyone was coming.

Everyone.

Including all the demons and annoying creatures he did 'not' want to be there.

But it was too late to cancel everything, and besides, Nina was coming too. That sure was an advantage. He liked Nina, but he wasn't sure if it was any more than that. Yes, he thought of her a lot. Pretty much all the time, except when he was in a life-threatening fight, or yelling at Spike. But besides that, she was the number one thing on his mind.  
Yet it was very different from his past loves.

Darla, his first 'real' love, had overwhelmed him. She had sired him, which made a connection.

She was perfection.

She used to be, anyway. He now saw her with very different eyes.

Then there had been Drusilla. He never loved her, she'd just been a toy. A masterpiece, definitely.

'His' masterpiece.

Or, his worst sin.

Whichever it was, it was not love.

And then, of course, Buffy. That was true love. True happiness. She'd been the only thing on his mind for a 'long' time, but not anymore. They could never be together, their lives were too complicated, and they had gone separate ways.

Cordelia.

She'd helped him get over Buffy, as far as possible, she'd showed him a world he'd never seen. She'd taught him things he'd never known they mattered.

She made him complete.

But now she was gone.. After she died, he'd fallen in this deep black hole. He'd never expected that he'd be able to climb back up from that, but yet he did.

With Nina's help.

And when he thought of that, he realised it may be love after all.

Or at least something that was very close to it.

With a lot of effort, Angel got through the day. He wasn't in such a bad mood after all, he appreciated it that everyone had thought of him, and even accepted a hug from Harmony. But then it was time to party.

Somewhat uncomfortable, Angel entered, trying to look comfortable which made him even more of the opposite. He took present from his friends and people who wanted him to like them, pretended to be happy with them (yet appreciating their effort), and watched everyone have fun.

Except himself.

He stood at the sidekick and hoped the night would be over soon.

Until he saw someone that made him hope the night would last forever.

'Nina.', he greeted her with a smile, glad to see her on a night without a full moon once.

'Hey, happy birthday!', she said enthusiastically, wondering if she would shake his hand, kiss his cheek, or kiss him on the lips.

Dilemma's.

Eventually she gave him a loose hug and a quick, somewhat nervous kiss on the cheek.

She wasn't used to this.

She wasn't very used to big parties either, she preferred to stay at home on the couch with a nice movie, but for Angel she would make an exception.

'Thanks.', Angel said, taking a small gift from her.

'I'm not sure if you like it..., but Spike told me you liked art, and since I'm an art school student I figured that it didn't have to be so hard.'.

'Do you ehm.. do you wanna go outside? Make a walk? It's so crowded here..', Angel suggested.

'Okay.'.

Slightly nervous, almost holding hands, they walked outside where they found a nice spot on a wooden bench in the park. They sat down, and Angel carefully unpacked the present.

What he saw surprised him.

It was a beautiful picture drawn by Nina herself, of two people holding hands. Their faces were not shown.

'That's us.. Or how I wanted us to be.', Nina explained shyly. 'I know that maybe you're not very into relationships at the moment.. And I also know that you're not the hand-holding type.. But I just wanted to let you know that you mean something to me. I don't know if I love you, but you're special to me. And I thought that two people joining hands would symbolise that.. I hope you like it.'.

Angel could barely take his eyes of the picture, it almost made him fall in love with her. Eventually he looked up at Nina.

'I love it.'.

They both smiled.

Maybe it wasn't true love, or perfect happiness. It was close to it.

It was enough.


End file.
